The Intangible Weight of Feeling Stupid

Tick tock. The time is running out. Rivers of sweat are running down my forehead to my neck, burning my skin with its saltiness, slashing everywhere it touches. Tick tock. My senses are overactive. I hear a creak, a sneeze, a tap. Someone is snuffling. A pen is dropped; it pierced the ground. Tick tock. Is this the ticking of the clock or   my heart beating that is ripping my chest apart? I’m raising my head. So lonely, so terrified. My eyes are filled with tears. There is nothing left to do. I passed the point of no return.   Tick tock. Tick tock. It’s over. No, I’m not dead. I just took the ACT, and got a twenty six. It was a complete waste of four hours of my life, plus fifty eight hours of group classes and at least twenty hours of self-studying. After all the time and money I spent on the exam, there I was, looking at the screen, waiting for my twenty six to magically turn into a thirty three. I wasn’t used to this. I had a grade point average of ninety three, was the executive officer of one of the most determined clubs in our school, a member of the school choir and a couple of other clubs as well. However, I was continuously failing to take the test, which is called to be â€Å"the great equalizer†. So does this mean that my intelligence basically was not equal with the achievements I attained in my school? Does it mean that I was just dumb? After a depressive period, in which I was trying to understand whether I was stupid or not, I deduced that ACT doesn’t want the students to master math or science or any other abilities. It wants us to develop a new skill, called â€Å"taking the ACT†. Is the intention of the creators of these kind of exams to let us present our purest ingenuities to the colleges we apply?   Or are there entirely dissimilar reasons lying behind the idea of â€Å"standardized testing† the students? Our world is so driven by standardized tests. According to Wikipedia, there are approximately 76 standardized tests, from SAT to TOEFL and from ISEE to OAT, administered across the United States (Standardized). And the number is getting more and more each year. The education system is coming up with a new standardized test for each admission process. Yet its object is quite unclear to me. Colleges can determine a student's adequateness by looking at his/her GPA, letters of recommendation, extracurricular activities, internships and interviews. So why are they keep on insisting putting us under another weight of stress that has nothing to do with our intellectual curiosity? Someone should be benefiting from building up a stressed-out, materialistic generation.   ACT, for instance, requires a $54.50 just for test registration. However if you register later than the deadline there is two additional late fees, one is $47 and the other is $23, you should be considering. On the other hand, if you are an international student you need pay $37 more. If you want to change your test date, a total of 80.40$ is waiting for you (Cheng). Each year approximately 1,800,000 national students are taking the ACT. If we consider that each of them only pays the registration fee, we end up with $9,810,000 (ACT). Adding up the late fees, test date changing fees, international students and the international student fees, we can conclude that ACT is most probably earning the double, even triple of this amount. A lot of money, right? Besides, the standardized test companies are not the only ones who reap the benefits of constituting mentally depressed students. Test preparation institutions gain unbelievable amounts of money just by teaching the skill of   â€Å"taking the standardized tests†. My family basically funnel their money on ACT group classes, private tutoring, counseling sessions, each cost $3,800, $1,600, $200 in order. And the result is: a 26, lots of crying sessions and back pains due to anxiety disorder.   And the funniest part of it is that we blow money on these courses to get scholarships/financial aids from colleges. In the long run, the companies and institutions who are involved in the standardized test business are making inconceivable amounts of money by overwhelming the students with scores and competition. Apart from all the money standardized testing industry makes, there is a whole other level which directly has an impact on the students’ capability. We all know the famous quote of Jim Rohn â€Å"If you really want something, you’ll find a away.† But emboldening yourself for the standardized tests may not work if you don’t have access to health services or are constantly hungry or face with violence everday at home and at the neighborhood. Some might argue that the accomplishments the students get mostly depended on the level of effort they put on their education. As recent researches of Schochet and Chiang states, 90% percent of students’ success is related with the social/economic sufficiency, which is outside of teachers’ and students’ control (Debunking). On the other hand, the standardized test concept is solely based on standardized testing skills, which most low-status schools are not adequate to teach. Students from low-income families, consequently, both suffer from external factors and lack of test-oriented education. That’s why standardized tests cater to the highly educated class, who have financial prosperity. As ACT states, on 2013, only 5% of African Americans, 10% of American Indians and 21% of international students was able to pass the benchmark, whereas this percentage was 33 on white Americans section (Condition). So this study not only shows that ACT cater to rich and educated class, but also to white Americans. Especially on the international base, standardized tests try to eliminate cultural and educational backdrops. Students from different countries are exposed to varied education sy stems. This needs to be taken into consideration and reflected upon the way the tests are designed. As a Turkish student, this is the first time an exam is measuring my accuracy over my speed. Until now, I was always concentrated on the quality of my work rather than my speed. These tests basically cater to the same kind of people, thus they kill the diversity that students from different backgrounds might bring into a college classroom. Apart from the fact that ACT makes unbelievable amounts of money and it is   designed for a specific social class, there is the fact that these tests mess up with students’ psychology. I’ve gone through anxiety problems. I’ve been like a wandering ghost during the period I was studying for the exam, and I’ve been feeling stupid for the whole time. Am I just dumb? Or maybe I’m just ACT dumb. And I’m definitely not the only one. A student from Pablo Alto High School, in which a couple of students commit s uicide on 2010 due to the expectation of overachievement, says â€Å"We are lifeless bodies in a system that breeds competition, hatred, and discourages teamwork and genuine learning.† (Bruni) Is this what education all about? Are these exams really the great equalizers? Why does getting 26 from the ACT result in killing yourself nowadays? And this is just the bright side of the problem. We, I and the Pablo Alto students, have loving and caring families. We are healthy. We have enough, maybe more than enough, of everything we need. Our parents are providing us with every kind of education that can help us succeed at these tests. Yes, most of us don’t give up, but it’s because we have the chance not to give up.   There are a lot of other students who don’t have the same opportunities. And they give up, because they know that they are already beat.    Works Cited ACT Profile Report-National: Graduating Class 2009." National: Graduating Class 2009 (n.d.): n. pag. ACT. Web. Bruni, Frank. "Best, Brightest - and Saddest?" The New York Times. The New York Times, 11 Apr. 2015. Web. 01 Dec. 2015. Cheng, Allen. "How to Save Money." SAT Cost | ACT Cost. PrepScholar, n.d. Web. 01 Dec. 2015. "The Condition of College Career Readiness." PsycEXTRA Dataset (2012): n. pag. ACT. Web. "Debunking The Myths Of Standardized Testing." CTUNET (n.d.): n. pag. Chicago Teachers Union. Web. "Standardized Tests in United States." Wikipedia. N.p., n.d. Web.