Critique Essay Example | Topics and Well Written Essays - 1500 words

Critique - Essay Example By inserting the word, â€Å"Indi’s owner,† the impact would be made smooth and the shift not abrupt. The corrected version would run like this: â€Å"Samantha, Indi’s owner, acknowledges ‘Being a pit bull†¦Ã¢â‚¬  Paragraph 3: The paragraph is too long and hard on the eyes. This should be broken in two. The new paragraph may begin with â€Å"BSL fails to address †¦.† as anyway it begins to explain deeper about BSL - a topic distinct different from the earlier idea being discussed which is dog breed and its general link to BSL. Paragraph 5: â€Å"However, that is an average of less than 20 dog-bite related fatalities per year, presumes accurate reporting of dog breed, and does not take total number of dogs in the breed in the general population into account.† Delete â€Å"is† in â€Å"is an average† and the thought will be clear. Paragraph 9: â€Å"The popularity of particular breeds ebbs and flows, in the 70s Dobermans were popular, in the 80s ‘pit bulls’ were†¦.† Colon instead should be used after the word, â€Å"flows† since a long enumeration begins on the topic of dog breeds by the decades. The outline of the article runs this way. Indi is introduced as champion dog, followed by the negative reputation of Pit Bull Terrier breed and what Indi has to endure for being of this breed. How â€Å"pit bull† breed came into controversy is discussed next, beefed by statistics on dog bites that are not based on breed. BSL (Breed Specific Legislation) is enacted on state-wide level then because of reported dog viciousness. Medical studies on dog bites come next, but these studies do not highlight breed. Statistics on dog-attacks are compared to non-fatal dog bites. From here, BSL being enacted based on breed incidents is described. BSL is hitting the wrong nail, it is argued, and that it is an ineffective response to sensationalized issues. The presumptions of BSL and why it is ineffective are considered. Because there is no decrease in dog attacks despite